God is God

Everyone told me that having a baby would change my outlook on so much but who would have thought it would challenge my faith so much? Today I completed my benefits enrollment for next year and guess what. . . next year we'll have a kiddo! Not only that, but premiums went up and our allowance went up but not enough to offset what we have to pay out. . . then there's the flex spending account which is wonderful but is more out of pocket expense within the whole benefits realm. . . and after doing all the calculations. . . I looked at what my paycheck will be. And it sucks. Granted, with that sucky paycheck, my whole family will have medical insurance and we won't have to worry much at all about paying for meds and doctors visits with the flex spending account but those paychecks are going to be humbling. And the whole morning, dealing with that, has been a big faith challenge. So I'm going to list all the ways God has taken care of us this year instead of wallowing in what may happen next year. . .

- We were able to purchase a newer, bigger house in the city we wanted to be in, in the part of town we wanted, and in a great neighborhood.
- We sold our house in ONE day in a market (and an area of OKC) that just doesn't work that way.
- We were blessed with down payment money and money to pay for a roof that had to be fixed before we could sell our old house.
- We have been able to invest money each month, save money in a regular savings account each month, AND put a large amount of money into a baby fund each month as well.
- We were blessed with a new (to us) car with no strings attached and better yet, no car payment that will be perfect for transporting Emily around town.
- We were blessed with baby furniture from my parents and my aunt so we had to buy none of that ourselves.
- I have been blessed with enough shared leave to spend the first three months of my daughter's life at home with her.
- We were blessed to find a nice, clean, trustworthy daycare less than a mile from our home.
- We can afford said daycare. :)
- We are blessed with a family full of happy grandparents, aunts, and uncles-to-be just waiting for Emily's arrival.
- And oh yeah, WE'RE HAVING A BABY!

So okay, maybe I'm having a faith challenge but as Scott said today, we will work out whatever we have to just like we always have. And while we're at it, I'm going to repeat my tattoo to myself over and over and over again today. For those who don't know, here's the verse(s). I have Phil 4:6 tattooed on my ankle but should have -7 added to it. :)

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

As I am constantly reminded, either you believe that God is God in all circumstances or you don't believe at all. And while it is much easier for me to believe He will bless someone else's finances than it is for me to believe He'll bless ours, I know He is who He is and that means He'll even take care of our little family. Besides, I know I'm not the first person to have freak out moments about all the extra expense that comes with having a child.

So for now, I will sit back, listen to my pod and relax. Which may be a bigger miracle than you'd think!